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The VoicesSpeak to me
Call me names
Tell me to do things
I don't want to do
For some reason
I listen to them
And I hate it
I want to do what I want to do
How often do these voices speak to you?
And how does that make you feel?
You did not just ask me that question
I makes me feel like I'm not in control of my life
What do they say to you?
(Please be an easy case)
(Don't already be a criminal)
"Think about the consequences"
"Don't cut yourself"
"Don't eat that last cookie"
It doesn't seem like you have a problem
But I do
It's these damn voices
But they're good voices
You're lying to me
Why are you lying to me?
I'm not I just think you don't need and medicine for your "problem"
You are supposed to help me
But you don't have a problem
Now I have another problem then
queen of nothing.what I've learned:
I still remember singing in my room when I was six, and having my mother come down the hall and slam the door so hard that the windows shook.
Her nails hurt when she scraped the tears off my face. "It doesn't matter what you want," she'd always tell me.
Like, when that drunk driver swerved and hit her car I didn't want her to leave me, and it didn't matter.
Once on vacation I bought a pair of fuzzy leather heels for two hundred dollars, and when I wore them to dinner, I found out that
1. "Suede" is a fancy word for "fuzzy leather."
And 2. Good things don't last: That night my cousin told me that she thought 135 pounds was a little too big for five foot eight. So I tore my tights up to the thigh and threw those new suede heels in the garbage.
It felt good later, to know that they couldn't hate me more than I hate myself.
My six-word story from ninth grade reads, "If I don't laugh, I'll cry."
When I read that treating people like trash to gets them to nee
She's worth saving.It is like watching
shooting stars collide into
that's my heart right now,
a mixture of all kinds
of toxic gases
ready to penetrate
every single cell
Is it even safe to breathe anymore?
I wish I could breathe you,
because if you were like air,
you'd be the most pure,
air I could ever
I feel the universe
falling down on me
but I can say it's just part
of my way of being,
voices [inside my head] say
I'm always over-
And you see,
these words are simple
not something a real
poet would ever write.
And you see, this is
me again, (again, and again)
self-esteem. (I wonder if it could go any lower.)
I lay down on my bed
looking up the roof
thinking if this is ever
going to stop,
[If I am ever going to stop.]
After days in complete
blindness and nights of
freezing 'till feeling
my heart beat in slow motion,
I've come to realize that
I'm only left with non- c
When fragile things let goHave you ever felt
like a leaf in the middle of autumn?
Just falling off,
into n o t h i n g.
Like if the wind was trying to set you free
but it only got you nowhere?
I promised myself I wouldn't let you close enough to hurt me
But like everything in life,
it's just meant to be broken.
Now I feel like if I didn't feel, (does it even make sense?)
and I'd like to call myself a zombie,
but even zombies are more alive... (and they don't even exist)
You told me to hold on,
that you'd never let go
How didn't I remember that it couldn't be true?
that forever is just in fairytales,
and that I'm not in one.
Love seems so strong but it's so fragile,
it lifts you up to the sky, and when you fall...
you just break.
And the falling is even worse that when you hit the ground.
Fragile things we hold on to...
and when they let go,
we are just blown away...
And I'm just a leaf,
that is falling off
it's like if I was on the edge.
(and I feel it's all o
The same path we are onI always told you
not to ever feel
because you knew
I would think of you
and I would
where you were.
If you only knew
that we are
under the same sun
and under the same moon
under the same
bright - burning
You'd see that
we are not so far away.
That miles are only numbers
and I refuse to let them
keep your heart away
(I am trying,
like I never did)
But miles are also wide
and I never learned
how to swim,
you were quite
I know you can
but I was never
for you to carry me with you
and save us both.
Just tell me,
which way to go
so I don't get lost...
I don't know where else to turn.
All I need is your voice
but your voice is turning into
an empty e c h o.
I know you're alone
because that's exactly
the same path
that I am on...
Can't smiles be broken too?Close your eyes
no, open them
no, how do you see better?
it seems you're just blind...
or am I the one that made up her own reality?
(I wish I could throw you up,
just like I throw up words,
or just like I throw up my food
but you're pretty buried in my heart
and you can't purge a heart,
I always said I didn't want to forget you.
but you're leaving me no choice
and still I can't seem to let you go...
( I still don't want to)
I always loved the silence of when we lied on the grass,
because you used to fill it with your warmth
you were like your own star
but now is like I'm freezing
and I can't find the star that you used to be.
Baby you took my heart
you know it's with you
how can you forget?
that's the reason it's broken.
(leaving my heart on a basket full
of dust isn't what I really wanted)
I'm tired of hearts getting broken
can't smiles be broken too?
Now that I don't have you.I can feel my tears
mixing up with the rain,
this rain of p a i n.
I guess I reached the bottom
because I never felt so
d o w n...
Take me with you,
h e a l m e.
give me my heart
and make it feel again.
and hold me tight,
like you never did before...
Look at me,
and don't speak...
Let your eyes talk to me...
Let them say
what your mind has been keeping secret.
That you'll always love me and
that you'll never let go...
that you'll wait for me
even if it is until the end of the world.
I wish memories
could have made us
But they didn't, right?
Now we are only weaker...
You're gone and
my soul is somewhere far
and it seems it doesn't want me back.
All I have left is fire inside me
and it's burning me alive.
Baby, please take my heart
I don't want it
or need it.
Within the heart of darkness.Tear tracks carve delicate patterns
Into to hollows' of my cheeks
Your beautiful face forever etched
Into the gallery of my memories
Choked cries mingle in the air
Twirling like a broken symphony
My eyes filled with fresh sorrow shine
Like the moon on a clear winter's eve
Sobs wrack my body uncontrollably
Moving it in a jerky puppet's dance
My hands desperately rake at the ground
Tearing at the Earth to try to bring you back
My heart splinters into a thousand tiny pieces
An exquisite jigsaw only you can complete
The fibres of my very being unknit
And unravel into a tangled web of colour and anguish
My soul yearns and searches for you:
A homing pigeon in the raging, rolling storms of my emotions
I lay on the floor defeated and wounded
A broken soldier bereft of a cause to fight for
Yet, in that night of madness and insanity
In which my world was turned on its head,
And my light and life had nestled so close
Then was snatched so cruelly away
The sun rose and brought with it new hope.
My AmbitionsMy Ambitions.
People tell me I have talent.
And my attempts at poetry are noble and valiant.
I want my words to leave a mark on this earth.
I write for myself, to give me some sort of worth.
I still think anyone is capable doing I what I do.
Paint the same or an even better image of the one I just drew.
I've been accepted by a few, but rejected by many.
This life is perpetual and the strain is getting heavy.
I write for you, as well as for me.
I write from my heart, to set my mind free.
A man who writes poetry isn't the epitome of masculinity.
I had to disregard the stereotype and over come the humility.
My writing is all I have and it's the one thing I can control.
That's why its not just words your reading, it's a piece of my soul.
I want to be liked and to appeal to everyone.
But I've learnt this ambition can never be truly done.
I write for my family, so they can be proud of their first creation.
Although I don't show it, they will always have my love and appreciation.
I'm hoping a
Dead Man's SwitchIn control, then not -
Sudden loss of grip.
Headlong to where?
Details lost, smudged, streaked.
Careening; no system of
No dead man's switch,
On a fast track -
With or without a god?
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More